Friday, September 24, 2004 – 1:31 am

7th Inning Stretch

Today – Day 170 – is officially the LAST day of my chemotherapy. It will mark the last day in the three week “cycle” of my eighth and final treatment. Were there a ninth cycle, today would involve another fun trip to the ORCC. Luckily (luckily?) the maximum number of cycles they can give a person is eight, so I’m going to spend tomorrow doing non-IV-related things like grocery shopping and paying bills.

I’m at the mercy of the CT Scan results at this point. 5 more days remain until I find out if I’m a normal non-cancerous person or not…and it’s no wonder I’m not sleeping. All I can do is try to distract myself and start trying to plan my return to work. I’m more anxious than I think I was even when I was first getting into this business of being ill. Back then it was a simple matter of getting diagnosed, and if I did turn out to be sick then off I go for treatment. There was an obvious process of events there.

What happens now? What’s the process after chemo? Assuming that I am in fact in remission, do I just go on my merry way? Just a simple goodbye to the doctors and that’s it? Congratulations, I hope I never see you again EVER?

And what if it’s not gone? …

(Hey, you’re all thinking it. I just thought it out loud.)

Mood: Anxious (ya think?)