(Note: Several posts between April 17 and May 5 are missing…)

The past week has been less of a physical struggle than a mental one. Now that I have a couple treatments under my belt, I know what to expect as far as pain goes. What no one can help me with is the mental challenges. I’m constantly tired, zoning out, and unable to focus on anything for more than a few seconds. Working has been very touch-and-go, with some days being dramatically more productive than others. I have discovered that it’s easier for me to focus on one large task rather than several small ones, so I’m going to try to work that out with my boss.

Of course, my hair is gone. I shaved it about 5 days ago when I couldn’t stand the shedding any more. Most people have gotten used to it, though I haven’t quite adjusted (my head is cold). I guess I still look healthy, and I can still pass as a normal person in public for now. We’ll see.

One sixth down, five more months to go!

Mood: Huh?

Two weeks ago I decided to try out ordering merchandise from my own online store. I haven’t really put a lot of effort into promoting it because it was more of an experiment in case anyone ever asked me to throw something like that together. I was curious, though. What kind of quality were their panties? So I went ahead and ordered a hat (as previously discussed), a t-shirt, a lunchbox (because who WOULDN’T want a Chubbywookie lunchbox?) and of course, panties. Because really, the thought of printing and selling my own underwear was too funny to pass up.

So after waiting 12 business days like a good little boy (even though their website says it will take 5-10) the order FINALLY arrived. The postman made me pay $15 in duty fees, which was not the worst I’ve paid for cross-border items before, but still high. I thought to myself “This box seems a little light to be four items…including a lunchbox” but the address was to me and the customs report said “clothing” on it. Maybe they have REALLY good packers…

Wrong. It was some OTHER guy’s order. Infact, it was a CD that was SUPPOSED to be in SCOTLAND. Whoops. So now I’m stuck with a HORRIBLE CD with “Total Eclipse of the Heart” on it! Needless to say this is not making me want to keep my Chubbystore open.

Mood: BOOOOO cover bands!

Wow. They responded to me within 8 hours and have informed me that they have already shipped me a replacement order to both myself and the fellow from Scotland. My replacement order has even been labeled a “gift” shipment to avoid further customs charges, and I should be getting it in about 10 business days.

This is amazing customer service. I highly recommend you order from them in the near future. There is still the issue of what kind of quality the merchandise actually is, but I’ll let you know in 10 business days.

Mood: Cafépress…YAY!

The only thing worse than having to watch the final episode of Friends is having to watch the SIXTY HOURS of specials ABOUT the final episode of Friends. I think every channel, news program and talk show has done something “Friends” themed over the past few weeks, and they’re STILL talking about it.

It’s a TV show, let it go, people.

Mood: Unfriendly.

Ever get that sinking feeling like you’re in over your head? Oh man am I in over my head. I can only say that I very much feel like the cast of Star Wars as they struggle to stay above the murky water of the garbage unit as the walls slowly close around them.

Yes. I am geek. Hear me roar.

But seriously. I know I’ve predicted this before, but June is going to be bad. Assuming I make it to May. All the people who read this (hello!) don’t need to (and some of you just aren’t allowed to) know that there are things in motion that cannot be stopped, so just bear with me and we’ll all get out of this pretty much unharmed.

It’s kind of like my brain is mis-firing. Skipping on the tracks. I can’t seem to keep focused. I’ve always been able to focus. Now I can barely string two thoughts together. What the hell is going on? God dammit. …now I’ve forgotten what I was going to put in this post. Okay…you all get to be amused by….MY THOUGHTS:

When someone is tortured and killed by an American it is “A failure of leadership, discipline, and supervision.” When someone is tortured and killed by an Iraqi it is “A murderous and horrific act carried out by agents of Al Qaida.
I love CNN.

Mood: Propaganda!

I always used to be able to keep up with the dirty dishes. Other than the odd stray up or pot, the dishes were usually mostly clean and put away. Now I struggle to keep up with the gathering piles next to the sink. It seems I just can’t wash them as fast as they get dirty. I can’t figure out if they’re getting dirtier faster or if I’m cleaning them slower.

We don’t have any plates, or cups. I cleaned the pans yesterday, and they’re already dirty again. Eventually they’re going to fall on the floor, or the sink is going to flood, or there’s going to be Hamburger Helper permanently glued to the plates.

Mood: Metaphoric

The NewRO came to my work today to do a story on Zip.ca. They did most of the interview with my CEO right in front of my office! I kind of sat there…hiding behind my iMac screen. All you can probably see is my bald head and the Mac logo.

Did anyone see me?

Wait…who here watches the NewRO for NEWS? I barely watch it for TV.

(Just kidding…I watch Breakfast@theNewRO every morning…I love how they send Stephanie Beaumont to all these horrible locations to do field reporting while the two older anchors sit in the comforts of the office. One time she was outside during a really cold day FREEZING, reporting about snowmen or something, and the other two were SITTING drinking hot cocoa. It was awesome.)

Mood: Televised!

I just poured Greek Dressing on my burger…

I thought it was Barbeque Sauce…

Mood: Greek.

Allow me to whine for just a second:

While the rest of my coworkers are flying south to Florida to spend the long weekend at DisneyWorld FOR FREE…I will be sitting in a hospital bed getting a chemo treatment. It’s so NOT FAIR.

Mood: Crap.

Who the hell invented chemotherapy, anyway?

“Hey! I’ve got a good idea! Let’s cure cancer by making totally and utterly SICK! We’ll reduce them to mere fragments of their former selves until they just can’t take it any more and everything they once took for granted is now completely impossible! We’ll make them wish they were dead and that the cancer WOULD win…THERBY making the cancer not want to pick on the patient any more because he was no longer a challenge! It’s REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY!”

Because I think that’s what they’re up to. Nothing that feels this bad could possibly be good. It’s like curing a headache with a sledgehammer…or leeches…or drilling holes in one’s head.

Please put me out of my misery…

Mood: Low.