Wednesday, September 29, 2004 – 3:54 pm

The Rabbit Hole Deepens

Okay. So I guess I’m legally obligated to say that I didn’t get Bad News today. However, it wasn’t the news I wanted to hear. I wanted her to tell me that my scan was clear and to have a good life. But she didn’t tell me to start picking out a headstone, either. I’m somewhere in between Good and Bad news in the big fat grey area known as “Precautionary Measures”, as illustrated in this handy dandy chart below:

(chart missing)

Basically, there’s still a mass in my chest. It could just be scar tissue, but it could be cancer, they just don’t know. My doctor doesn’t THINK it’s cancer, but just to be sure I get – you guess it – more treatment! I will be enjoying the pleasure that can only be had by having my chest irradiated every day for the next two to four weeks. The burning sensation means God loves me.

Needless to say all “celebration” plans are officially off. I won’t have much to celebrate come the 23rd of October, except maybe the fact that the radiation unit isn’t open on Saturdays. Sorry to ruin everyone’s day. I’m getting really good at that. Hopefully someday I’ll make it up to you, and not just by being a good excuse to buy a new black suit.

Mood: Just guess. Seriously. Guess.