Friday, March 19, 2004 – 11:43 am

Organized Masterbation


I don’t think anyone can really dispute the fact that we live in a very strange world. Though we may call ourselves “civilized” compared to our ancient ancestors, I would think that “sterilized” is a more appropriate definition.

Take, for example, what I’m going through right now. I will be starting chemotherapy in the very near future. This normally renders a male completely sterile after the full treatment. In order to have some chance of having my own children someday, I will have to “bank” my sperm. This requires me to abstain for a certain length of time, then “obtain a sample” (read: jerk off) and bring it to the storage facility within 1 hour. See? Organized Masterbation. Think of how many “samples” that are carelessly thrown away over the years, dispensed into a sock, blanket, or simulated vagina. Not that I want you guys out there thinking about me the next time you are “obtaining a sample”, but I think you should at least be thankful afterwards that you could have used that for a higher purpose.

Which brings me to my next point: Fertility is a two-sided coin. Ever since adolesence, I’ve been actively trying NOT to get girls pregnant. Condoms, pills, injections, abstention (my frequent method during high school) and hundreds of other methods are used to PREVENT pregnancy. But now I find myself FIGHTING to have children someday. Something else to consider the next time you get birth control or have sex with someone purely for recreation.

So my life has pretty much turned a complete 180. I find my masterbation being organized and scheduled, and I have gone from worrying whether or not ¬†we are pregnant to worrying if I’ll ever be a Dad. Like I said, fucked up world.

Mood: dexelpreP.