Monday, August 9, 2004 – 12:52 pm

Take Two Grand and Call me in the Morning

I can officially sleep now (well, when the drugs kick in that put me to sleep and give me awesome dreams about Cobra lesbians). My benefits arrived this morning at 12:03am via direct deposit, paid in retrospect to July 2nd. We’re out of overdraft, the bills finally got paid (Rogers was getting ANGRY) and best of all I no longer have to worry about going back into serious credit card debt.

See? Money does solve all of life’s problems!

Which brings me to an interesting point: Money can solve anything. If I was rich, I could have paid for faster/better treatment and gotten my chemotherapy in between trips to high-class spas around the world. Also, I wouldn’t have spent the last month unable to sleep over the thought of having to scramble to find money for simple things like granola bars or Online Roleplaying Games. To be honest if I had a small sum of about $50,000, I would have absolutely ZERO stress in my life. I could go to my job (once I’m healthy of course) and do a damn good job knowing that my entire disposable income was going towards my future instead of my past.

What can’t money solve? It can’t save you from having cancer in the first place, and it can’t buy you the support of a good wife, family and a ton of great friends. For that I am glad. It CAN help you spend a lot more time with them instead of sitting around worrying about money, and in the even you have no family or friends, that’s a whole lot of booze and strippers. In fact, that’s what I love most about rich people. They always seem so empty even though to them $50,000 is a week-end shopping spree. But you can always count on rich people to be surrounded by booze and strippers.