Friday, August 6, 2004 – 1:12 am

The Creative Well

Creativity is not a talent, it’s a skill. It takes years of practice and training to literally forge the mind to think laterally at will.

I’ve been working on being creative since probably grade school, but it wasn’t until high school that I really started concentrating on being a creative individual. After many years of failed creative efforts, I was just starting to get to a point where I could see around almost any creative problem – sometimes several different solutions would pop up. Much like when the speed skater starts matching Olympic race times, my skill was finally coming to fruition.

Until this all happened.

Now it’s WORK again. I hate it. I stare at a blank sheet of paper and nothing happens. No lights, no fireworks, nothing. There’s no explanation for it, either. The doctor’s tell me it’s quite common – it’s called “Chemo Brain” – and that I definately have it. Great. Add that to my list of afflictions.

I feel like a vegetable. A rather useless one, too. Like a rutabega. All I can do is ingest information. I can’t interpret or digest it. When I try to think of simple creative solutions, my mind draws a complete blank. I don’t even get BAD ideas.

I kind of feel like a speed skater who just lost both his legs. My creative well – upon which my PROFESSION depends – has run dry.

(Whine whine, bitch bitch)