Tuesday, January 18, 2005 – 6:09 pm

Once More, with Feeling

In less than 14 hours we’ll know exactly how well the last year went. It’s a pretty daunting concept – that an entire year might have been a rousing success or a complete waste of time and effort.

I don’t know what I’m going to do if it’s bad news. I mean, we’re assuming that it’s good news, of course, but if it’s not I just don’t know how I’m going to react. All that time, the drugs, the prescriptions, the vomiting, the sickness, sadness, lonliness, stress, expense…just the whole deal. I feel like I should get something for my suffering other than, well, MORE suffering.

I know I’m supposed to be thinking positively, but I just can’t help wondering what if it isn’t good news. I haven’t had any good news for a while, and I’m just hoping that I break the streak tomorrow with the word “Remission”. That would be a good day.

So pray/hope/cry/swear/write/sleep/screw/drink for me. I’m off to find out if this nightmare is over, or if it’s just beginning.

Mood: Good?